How Intimacy Grows

[It’s recommended that you do this LG study over several sessions. It’s too much to cover in just one session.]

Read 1 John 4:7-8, 19

Anything we can know about love comes from knowing God. “Love comes from God.” “God is love.” He embodies it perfectly, eternally Father, Son, Spirit; One God. Love originates in Him. Therefore, only as we grow in our intimacy with God and learn what love is from Him, can we then also grow in our capacity to go deeper on a human-to-human level.

The Bible gives us five word-pictures that God uses to show us what our relationship with Him looks like – each progressively deeper and more intimate than the last. They aren’t stages that we progress through, forgetting the last and moving on to the next. They’re more like layers that we retain and build on, continuing to practice and grow in earlier foundations, and yet expanding in new understanding and responsiveness to God.

Here are the five word-pictures. Please keep in mind this is only a brief survey; there are actually many more Scripture passages in both Old and New Testaments for each. But this begins to give us some insight.

You can try and cover all five word-pictures in one LG session (it’s a lot), or do this study over multiple sessions (recommended).

The crux of the Potter/Clay relationship is that ‘God made me’. 

Among other things, we can learn from these passages that to start a relationship with God, I need to

a. Acknowledge Him – God is the Creator of everything, including human beings. And He had a purpose in mind, just as a potter would as he shapes the clay. He is not like us, He is far greater, and has every right to do whatever He wishes, yet even in this, He is good. 

b. Repent – agree with God that He is right, I was wrong; He is good, I have sinned; He is merciful, I am in need of His forgiveness. You can see these things reflected in Isaiah’s prayer in ch.64.

c. The spillover implications into our human-to-human relationships is likewise – to start any relationship with another person (as well as continue in it) we have to acknowledge the other person (exists, equal before God, made in the image of God); and especially for rebuilding a broken relationship repentance is required (asking for forgiveness, and extending forgiveness).

1. How do you feel, or what do you think, about God being the Creator of everything (including you and me), and therefore we owe everything to Him? Do you ever struggle with the idea that God then has the right to do with us whatever He wants?

2. What does it mean to acknowledge God? Try to draw from the Isaiah passages, or other verses in the Bible.

3. Consider again Isaiah’s prayer in chapter 64, verses 4-9. What can we learn from this about repentance?

4. How do we live out acknowledgement and repentance in our relationship with God?

5. What does acknowledgement and repentance look like in our human-to-human relationships?

The crux of the Shepherd/Sheep relationship is that ‘God meets my needs’. 

We can learn from these two passages

a. Grateful or for granted – I should go to God for what I need; He wants me to, and He will provide, because He is the Good Shepherd. The challenge is, as He does so, do I thank God? 

b. Do not plunder the flock – there is a warning from God to those who are leaders (Ez 34:1-10) to not plunder the flock for their own benefit; likewise there is a warning from God to all those who are the flock (Ez 34:17-22) not to trample and ruin God’s good provision to all the rest of the flock too.

c. The spillover implications into our human-to-human relationships is likewise – when we somehow benefit or are blessed by others, are we truly grateful and at the very least say thank you? 

1. From Psalm 23, what are some of the things God as the Good Shepherd provides for us as His sheep?

2. Are you grateful to God? (Be honest)  If you struggle, read Rom 8:32, and prayerfully reconsider?

3. How can we practice gratefulness, so as not to take God’s generosity for granted?

4. Go back to Ezekiel chapter 34, this time read the whole chapter. What are the implications, particularly for how we relate to one another? What’s one thing you’ll do differently starting this week?

The crux of the Master/Servant relationship is that ‘I serve God’. 

This is a significant turning point in our intimacy with God (and spilling over into our relationships with one another), because here the focus shifts away from me and my needs, to considering what is God’s will; from self-serving to serving God (and others).

We can learn from these words of Jesus, that God expects much from us (v.48b) because He has given us much (remember the Shepherd/Sheep dynamic, all that we need and more)! He expects us to serve and obey Him, and this is not selfish of God. If anything He has already been so selfless and generous towards us, He has already extended so much grace to us. Therefore our proper response to such goodness is that we need to

a. Know His will – and not knowing is no excuse (vv.47-48).

b. Learn obedience – there is reward for obedience (vv.43-44), and judgment for disobedience (vv.45-47).

c. The spillover implications into our human-to-human relationships is, because we serve God, one of the key ways we do that is by serving one another, care for each other as fellow servants of the same Master.

1. Building on the foundations of the Potter/Clay relationship, and the Shepherd/Sheep relationship, is it too much or unfair of God that He expects our obedience? Share your thoughts with one another.

2. Why do you think God wants us to move away from being self-centred and self-serving?

3. From the passage in Luke ch.12, to serve God in this instance means to serve and take care of fellow servants of the same Master. What might that look like for you personally?

4. Have you asked God, what is His will for you? (This could be long-term life goals, for this year/season, or day-to-day.) How can you be continually growing in knowing God’s will?

5. What are some of the things God is commanding you? How are you going with following through? Any things you can do that will help you obey?

The crux of the Father/Son relationship is that ‘I’m in God’s family’. 

God is Father, not just because He created me, and gave ‘birth’ or life to me (OT paradigm) but also because He cared for me, rescued me through Christ, and adopted me into His family (NT paradigm). All that’s His is now mine (that’s what it means to be an heir) … my name, inheritance, identity are tied to His, and come from Him. 

We can learn then from these two passages that, as sons and daughters of God we should

a. Care about what He cares about – From the Parable of the Lost Son(s) in Luke ch.15, we can see that the older son did not care (as the Father did) that the younger son had returned.

b. Want to join in with Him – Because we belong to God (as Father) there should be a loyalty to Him, a respect and valuing of Him, and a desire to build the family business with Him (cf. Luke 2:49).

c. The spillover implications into our human-to-human relationships is that we ought to care about each other because the Father does. Because we belong to each other (as family), there should be a mutual loyalty, respect, and valuing of one another … and together building the family business. There’s a great example of what family looks like in Ruth 1:16-17.

1. From Romans 8:15, what does it mean for our intimacy with God that we call Him “Abba, Father”?

2. What are some implications of the fact that my name, reputation, identity, and inheritance all now come from Him?

3. Read Luke 15:17-19 again. From the younger son’s resolve, can you identify elements of previous foundational layers of intimacy (e.g. Potter/Clay, Shepherd/Sheep, Master/Servant) towards rebuilding shattered relationship with the Father?

4. In your present relationship with God, is there anything the Holy Spirit is speaking to you, to care about something (or someone) that He cares about?

5. What is the family business (our Father’s business cf. Luke 2:49) now that we are children of God?

Read Ephesians 5:25-32 and Revelation 21:1-4

The crux of the Lover/Bride relationship is that ‘Jesus is everything’. 

We can learn from these two passages that the universal Church (all believers throughout time, “from every nation, tribe, people and language” (Rev. 7:9) are the Bride of Christ, and the ultimate prize and reward for those who are the Bride, is God Himself (to be with God, Rev 21:3).

At this deepest and most intimate level of relationship

a. Treasure – Jesus is our treasure. He is my life, my future, my destiny. My joy, delight, longing, hopes, eternity are all pinned to Him. Because I have Jesus, I have everything and He alone is enough (cf. Philippians 3:7-15). Without Him I have nothing.

b. Lay yourself down – Therefore, because He is of such great value, I will lay everything else down for Him. I die to my old life and old self, and instead will live for Him (cf. Gal 2:20). My new life is now in Christ, for Christ, and with Christ. Indeed, Jesus showed me how to do this, because He laid Himself down for me/His bride (Eph 5:25).

c. The spillover implications into our human-to-human relationships are that, if you are married, your spouse ought to be your greatest treasure – the person you long for the most, that you want to do life with, facing all the joys and challenges ahead together. Husbands and wives mutually lay themselves down for the sake of the other (cf. Eph 5:21ff.) Jesus said, “there’s no greater love than this” (cf. John 15:13).

Discuss:

1. According to the passage in Eph ch.5, the husband-wife relationship is meant to be a living parable of Christ and the Church. But more fundamentally, the example that Jesus sets of how Christ loves His Bride actually shows us how a husband ought to love his wife (and vice versa). 

a. For husbands, what are some ways that Christ calls you to “give yourself up” for your wife (cf. Eph 5:25)?

b. For wives and indeed all of us, what does it look like to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (cf. Eph 5:21)?

2. Reflecting on your own relationship with God, can you honestly say that Jesus is your treasure and prize? If everything else was taken away, would Jesus alone be enough for you?

3. When you think of Heaven, what do you most look forward to?

4. Read Philippians 3:7-8. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what things you might still be holding onto as ‘alternate treasures’ to the all-surpassing treasure of simply knowing Christ. How can you learn to lay those things down? (Hint: keep reading, and ponder on Philippians 3:10-21)